Darn Good Luck

So it's another weekend almost gone; I had big plans to write a new blog entry about what's been on my mind lately: the presidential election, a potential move to New Hampshire, a story I heard on the radio the other day that really ticked me off, and the role of evangelicals' and Christians in general as they pertain to politics.

I don't really have the energy to write about any of it right now though. I've been struggling lately with my own life and trying to come up with a plan on how to get out of this slump...I have a good job, a degree, and it just isn't enough. We live in the ghetto, drive cheap cars, don't have a T.V., don't have any furniture, and yet every month we get more in debt because we have to use our credit card just to pay for basic food and gas since our expenses add up to more than our income. Tyson hasn't been able to get a job, and sometimes it's hard not to resent him for it. I do love him though, just something we have to get through.

I'm worried about our car registration, Arizona law is that you register your car as soon as you're a resident. Needless to say, we haven't done so with either of our vehicles because we don't have the money. We would need to switch our car insurance to reflect our new residency status, which means higher insurance costs because everyone in Arizona is a retarded driver and there's tons of traffic no matter what time of day, and then register two cars and pay the taxes on them which would cost like $400 if not more on it's own. Our Texas registration expires this month, so pretty soon our cars won't be legal anywhere.

I'm also worried about our two dogs. They need more heartworm/flea preventative but we don't have to money to take them to the vet to get some. If we could just get he medicine that would be one thing, but taking them to the vet here in Arizona would also mean that we would have to get them registered (for a fee) or face a monthly fine.

I try to look at where the money is going, but the thing is I'm not one of those people that lives out side of their income. I have zero credit card debt, no student loans, no mortgage, I wear the same clothes that I've been wearing since I was in high school (with the exception of about 4 outfits that were bought for my job).

Sometimes I get upset because I think to myself, I'm only 22. I'm not suppose to have these worries yet. Most people my age are still in college or living with their parents. They haven't even thought about retirement or savings yet. Maybe it doesn't help that I work for a retirement firm, but all I can think about it that I'm going to be working till I'm 70 and then be too old and still too poor to enjoy life when I can finally retire.

I also get frustrated sometimes because my only goal right now is to improve my life and set myself and my family up for a better future but we can't even save $5; then Tyson gets frustrated because we don't have the social life with friends and parties that he wants.

I've worried about things like this a lot of my life, and somehow it always seems to work out. When I worried about how I was going to pay for college (I didn't want to take out loans), I went on to earn a full scholarship that paid for my living expenses as well as school. Sometimes it seems like I either have darn good luck with really bad timing, or just a way of pulling myself out of holes.

I can't wait for luck anymore, so I guess it's time to figure out to get out of this hole.